Behaviors of Battering

intimidation: making her afraid by use of looks, gestures, and actions; smashing things; displaying weapons. Intimidation instills fear and is one way an abuser will seek to control an intimate partner. Destruction of property or pets: Although there is no contact with the victim’s body, the assault is still meant for her, and she realizes this.

Examples: destroying objects during arguments, damaging victim’s property, or attacking her pets, or breaking own property and blaming victim for it.
coercion and threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her; threatening to hit or throw something at her; directing anger at or threatening the children; directing anger at or threatening the pets; threatening to commit suicide or to kill her, threatening to take the children; verbally pressuring her into dropping charges; making her do illegal things.

Threats reinforce the fear she feels and may make the known violence seem safer than the retaliation promised is she attempts to flee.
emotional abuse: Putting her down; making her feel bad about herself; calling her names; making her think she’s crazy; playing mind games; humiliating her; making her feel guilty. Psychological battering consists of assault again a person’s well-being. Unlike physical battering, the victim’s body is not touched but there is still an attack

To have it defined as battering, there has to have been at least one physical attack against person or property in the relationship. In psychological battering, there is often the fear that it will lead to a physical fight.

Examples of Psychological battering include: threats of suicide, custody fights, violence against victim and others; constant attacks on person’s self-esteem: “stupid,” "crazy.” Other examples include: forcing a person do do very degrading things; controlling the victim’s activities such as sleep, eating habits, social relationships, and access to money. The victim receives no encouragement.
isolating the victim: Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes; limiting her outside involvement; using jealousy to justify actions. Often the abuser will interrogate her by asking question after question after question, whether after a phone call she’s placed or received, or when she returns home from an errand or outing.

He does not acknowledge that she has any “worthy” family and friends-- outside of his friends and family. Isolation destroys the support system of relatives and friends who might be able to assist her in getting information, support, and resources.
minimizing, denying and blaming: Making light of the abuse, and not taking her concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse did not happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying she caused it.

The abuser makes his behaviors the responsibility of his partner and others, rather than taking responsibility for his own behavioral choices. Violence is a choice. Peace is a choice.
using children: Making her feel guilty about the children; using the children to relay messages; using visitation to harass her; threatening to take the children away.
using male privilege: Treating her like a servant; making all the big decisions; criticizing her decisions, should she risk making any; acting like the “master of the castle”; being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.
using economic abuse: Making her ask for money; Giving her an allowance; Taking her money; Not letting her know about or have access to family income; preventing her from getting or keeping a job; withholding money. Economic abuse prevents a woman from gaining the financial freedom that could help her escape the violence.

The threat or use of physical and sexual violence reinforces the affect of the behaviors. Together, this system of behaviors builds barriers to a woman’s escape.

Domestic violence is a crime in Minnesota, and
throughout the United States.